


You Listen To Me James Tiberius Kirk

by JustPlainAmy



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bones going all gruffy and protective, Depressed Jim, Fluff, M/M, Star Trek - Freeform, mckirk - Freeform, past suicidal Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 22:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1202596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustPlainAmy/pseuds/JustPlainAmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There isn’t a lot that can scare Jim Kirk.</p><p>He can probably count on one hand the things that do.</p><p>The important things scare him, the things that hurt so bad that even thinking about them made him flinch. Thinking about tarsus scares him. So he doesn’t. Thinking about Frank and what he did to Sam and him when his mom was off planet scares him. So he doesn’t. </p><p>Thinking about love scares him. So he doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Listen To Me James Tiberius Kirk

There isn’t a lot that can scare Jim Kirk.

He can probably count on one hand the things that do. The lashes that criss cross his back (from stealing food, and life, and smiles for little kids) don’t scare him. Even when he catches sight of the raised white scars in the mirror when he turns a certain way. He figures aliens with weapons can’t be that bad, but he hasn’t been able to test that theory. Going out into the black doesn’t, far from it actually.

The important things scare him, the things that hurt so bad that even thinking about them made him flinch. Thinking about tarsus scares him. So he doesn’t. Thinking about Frank and what he did the Sam and him when his mom was off planet scares him. So he doesn’t. Thinking about love scares him. So he doesn’t.

Leonard McCoy terrifies Jim. His skin sears when he finds himself staring too long at the other man’s lips. A cold shiver crawls its way up his spine when 'bones' is the name he chokes out when he comes. His chest aches when bones is unhappy and it does the samething when he smiles. He hasn’t figured out why yet. But when Jim gets it into his head that this insane obsession could be more than just about sex, he can’t make himself come back to the dorm for three days straight.

He can’t look at him for two more.

Jim’s in love with his best friend and he is scared shitless.

He will not do this. He will not fuck up something else. He will not ruin the good doctor Leonard McCoy and he will not taint him with poison kisses. Jim won’t flay himself open and let bones see how ugly he is and have him leave. He would die before that happens. He won’t have just one taste of those pretty lips because it will be his undoing (Jim’s or Leonard’s he doesn’t know. He thinks maybe both).

He won’t strip this man down and take him and leave him as empty as Jim feels. He won’t he won’t he won’t he won’t he won’t.

The way Leonard looks at him at the bar when Jim grins and walks over to a guy with dark hair (that looks just like bones) makes him think maybe he already has.

Jim packs a bag and applies for a dorm transfer.

 

He could feel bones glaring a hole in his back, he didn’t even know that was possible. Jim wasn’t even going to tell Bones that he was leaving, but the doctor had come back to the room an hour early. Jim could tell he knew about the transfer, even though he hadn't said a word, just watching Jim gather his shit. It wasn’t until he had come out of the bedroom did Bones say anything, pointing at one of the padds Jim had lent him weeks ago.

"Don’t forget this" his voice was so different from his usual growl, so soft and well, hurt- that it made Jim stop short any stuttering thanks trapped inside his mouth. Jim was poison, of course he hurt his best friend, of course he hurt him, why couldn’t he-

"Stop that, there’s smoke coming out of your ears, dumbass" Bones’s usual ‘you make my life hard why do I associate with you’ voice was back. That was good, so good that Jim didn’t even protest being called a dumbass.

"Seriously kid, what’s the matter? I hear from Jenna down in the dorm offices that you have yourself in a tizzy-that, you’re… well packing? Did I do something? Because I didn’t mean it when I said you were worthless the other day, I was only frustrated. I thought you knew that, either way I’m sorry kid. Just, why?"

Jim didn’t really have the courage or the will to stand up to such a sad looking Bones. So he mumbled an answer into the collar of his uniform while snatching up the padd and retreating to their tiny kitchen to grab his favorite mug and shove it in the rucksack he’d been carrying. He should have known Bones wouldn’t let him get away with it.

"What was that?" dammit dammit dammit, he squared his shoulders to face his best friend before forcing himself to spill his secrets to Bones. He deserved the truth at least.

"I’m- I’m not good" was all he managed to force out, staring at his at his toes before Bones had a tight grip on his shoulders. To his horror Jim could feel tears pricking in his eyes so he shut them tight as his chin was forced up by a gentle hand.

"I’m not good" he repeated steadier this time the determination that made him decide to leave coming back to him little by little. 

"I’m not good, and there are things that are wrong with me, and because of that I’m going to hurt you" a tiny hysterical giggled bubbled up his throat. "I’m poison Bones and you don’t deserve to have me hurt you, you deserve someone that will love you without being so fucking terrified! Someone that isn't broken."

The grip on Jim’s shoulder tightened briefly as what he just said seemed to sink in for both of them.

"Jim, Jim" Bones seemed to be urging him to open his eyes. But he couldn’t, god dammit. A tear escaped to roll down his face and he could barely feel Bones brushing it away with a calloused thumb. 

"Jim god dammit you idiot, how can you think that? and screw you for making the choice of what I deserve without asking me. You listen to me James Tiberius Kirk." He paused to bring his other hand to his best friends face cupping it softly. 

"You are one of the best things to ever happen to me. Do you know when you found me on that shuttle I was ten minutes and a few burbons away from throwing myself off the nearest tall structure. Did you know that I arranged my classes just so we could spend more time together-you’re- you’re like the fucking sun. Everything around you is warm and I can’t help it, I can’t stay away from you for long you corn fed dumb ass hick. You’re the furthest thing from poison If anything you’ve been fixing me. You make me better, and god help me I love you, you fucking dumbass." Jim’s eyes shot open in time to see Bones lean in and plant one on him.

It was nice and sweet, but still a little rough, Leonard holding his jaw firmly in place for a moment and Jim made a tiny terrified noise because his hands, which had been balled at his sides were now grasping at Leonard’s uniform desperately as Jim launched himself at his best friend.

They kissed for what seemed like hours until Bones pulled away, the small dissatisfied noise Jim had made was making him grin before he simply pulled Jim into a tight hug, warm lips ghosting over Jim’s ear.

"So you gonna stay with me or am I gonna have to beg?" He asked teasingly, giving Jim a little squeeze making the other man smile.

"I’ll stay, and Bones, I love you too. "

"It Know kid, I know."

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a a tumblr post by the lovely illogicute, she posted the first half and I couldn't leave it cause it was so wonderful so I continued it. So you should totally follow her and if anyones interested my username is the-staged-inadequacy.


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